Essays

Understanding People Can Be Hard – Searching for The Third Eye

Imagine for a moment that everyone you meet is wearing a mask. Not a physical mask, but an invisible one that hides their true thoughts and motivations. Today, I want to share with you a secret about seeing beyond these masks—about discovering what I call a person’s “third eye.” This isn’t some mystical concept, but a powerful way of understanding people that goes far deeper than what they show on the surface. It’s a skill that, once mastered, will help you navigate the complex world of human interactions with wisdom and insight.

This third eye represents a person’s true motivations, their self-interest, and the reality of who they are beneath the surface. It’s easy to see the world and other people as we want them to be, but that can lead us astray. The truth is, people are complex, and not everyone plays by the same rules we might expect or hope for.

Think of it like this: imagine you’re playing a game of chess. You can see the pieces on the board, but the real game is in understanding your opponent’s strategy—their third eye. What are they really after? What moves are they planning that you can’t see yet?

Napoleon Bonaparte, a French military leader and statesman, rose to prominence during the French Revolution and became Emperor of France in 1804. Widely regarded as one of the greatest military tacticians in history, he won numerous battles and expanded France’s territory across Europe through his conquests. His brilliance extended beyond the battlefield, as Napoleon possessed a keen insight into human behavior and motivation.

One of Napoleon’s most famous observations captures this understanding succinctly: “Men are moved by two levers only: fear and self-interest.” This powerful statement reflects his belief that at their core, humans are primarily driven by these two fundamental forces. Napoleon’s “third eye” allowed him to see beyond surface-level actions and understand the deeper motivations behind human behavior.

He recognized that in politics, warfare, and everyday life, people’s actions often stem from either avoiding threats (fear) or pursuing personal gain (self-interest). This understanding profoundly influenced Napoleon’s leadership style and strategic decisions. By recognizing these core drivers, he could more effectively motivate his followers, anticipate his enemies’ actions, and navigate complex political landscapes.

Napoleon’s insight offers a valuable lesson: when trying to understand why people behave as they do, look first to what benefits them rather than assuming ill will. This pragmatic, sometimes cynical view of human nature contributed significantly to his success as a military and political leader. It reminds us that understanding the self-interest of others can be a powerful tool in both leadership and personal interactions, allowing us to navigate the complexities of human relationships more effectively.

Human behavior is often guided by self-interest. This isn’t necessarily a bad thing—it’s just how we’re wired. We all have needs, desires, and goals that drive us. The key is to recognize this in others, just as you should be aware of it in yourself.

When you’re dealing with someone, whether it’s a friend, a teacher, or someone you’re doing business with, try to find their third eye. Ask yourself: What does this person really want? What’s driving their actions? What’s in it for them? Understanding this can help you navigate relationships and situations more effectively.

But here’s where it gets tricky. Sometimes, what people say they want and what they actually want are two different things. They might not even be aware of their true motivations. That’s why it’s important to observe actions more than words. How people behave over time tells you more about their third eye than what they say in any single moment.

Now, this might sound a bit cynical, but it’s not meant to make you distrust everyone. Instead, it’s about being realistic and protecting yourself. Some people won’t respect the rules that you hold dear. Some will act in ways that surprise or disappoint you. Don’t let this catch you off guard or be to your detriment.

Remember, understanding someone’s self-interest doesn’t mean you have to agree with it or cater to it. It just means you’re aware of it. This awareness is like a superpower. It helps you make better decisions, avoid unnecessary conflicts, and sometimes even find win-win solutions where both your interests align.

As you grow older, you’ll encounter all sorts of people. Some will be kind and straightforward, their third eye easy to see. Others will be more complex, their motivations hidden behind layers of behavior. Your job is to approach each person with curiosity and a desire to understand, not judge.

Developing this skill of seeing the third eye takes time and practice. You’ll make mistakes along the way, misreading people or situations. That’s okay. Each misunderstanding is a chance to learn and refine your ability to see more clearly.

Here’s a practical tip: when you’re trying to understand someone’s motivations, put yourself in their shoes. If you were them, with their background, their pressures, their goals, what would you want? This exercise in empathy can often reveal the third eye you’re looking for.

Remember, though, that while understanding others’ self-interest is important, it doesn’t mean you should ignore your own. Your needs and goals matter too. The art is in finding a balance between being aware of others’ motivations and staying true to your own values and interests.

In the end, seeing the third eye in others isn’t about being suspicious or cynical. It’s about being wise, prepared, and understanding human nature in all its complexity. It’s a tool to help you navigate the world more effectively, build stronger relationships, and avoid unnecessary pitfalls.

So as you go through life, keep your eyes open—all three of them. Look for the hidden motivations, the unspoken desires, the true drivers of human behavior. It will serve you well in all aspects of life, from personal relationships to professional endeavors.

And always remember, while it’s important to see others clearly, it’s equally important to be true to yourself. Let your own third eye guide you towards your goals, while being mindful of the world around you.

With love and faith in your ability to connect with others,

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