I want to share with you a tale of two grandfathers – a story that taught me one of life’s most valuable lessons. When I was about 10 years old, I lost both of my grandfathers. But the impact they left on my life couldn’t have been more different.
My maternal grandfather, Courtney, was an Irishman with a hard exterior and, unfortunately, a harder heart. For reasons I couldn’t understand as a child, he seemed to dislike me, perhaps because of my Italian heritage from my father’s side. His words were often cruel, and his actions made me feel like an outcast in his presence. The alcohol he consumed didn’t help matters. Try as I might, I can’t recall a single kind word or gesture from him. When he passed away, I felt a confusing mix of emotions, but sorrow wasn’t one of them. And as I write this I am kindly masking my real feelings.
On the other hand, my paternal grandfather, Pop Gentile, was kindness personified. His warmth and love enveloped me every time I was in his presence. I remember the day he died as if it were yesterday. My dad picked up my cousin and me from school and took us straight to the chapel to break the news. The loss I felt was profound. To this day, I think about Pop Gentile often, and I’m convinced that when my time comes, he’ll be the first to greet me at the gates of heaven.
These two men, both my grandfathers, left vastly different imprints on my heart. One taught me the pain of unkindness, while the other showed me the transformative power of kindness. It’s a lesson I’ve carried with me throughout my life, and one I hope to pass on to you.
Kindness isn’t just a nice-to-have quality; it’s a necessity in our world. It’s the oil that keeps the machinery of human relationships running smoothly. But here’s the thing: kindness doesn’t always come naturally. Like any virtue, it needs to be practiced, cultivated, and worked on every single day.
So how can we make kindness a daily habit? Here are some ways:
Remember, being kind doesn’t mean being a pushover or ignoring your own needs. It’s about treating others with respect, compassion, and consideration – even when it’s challenging.
The beauty of kindness is that it creates a ripple effect. When you’re kind to someone, they’re more likely to be kind to others, creating a chain reaction of positivity. Your one act of kindness could set off a series of events that brightens the lives of countless people.
As you go through life, you’ll encounter both Courtneys and Gentiles. Be a Gentile. Be the person whose kindness leaves an indelible mark on the hearts of others. Be the one they remember fondly years later, the one they’re convinced will be waiting for them at the gates of heaven.
Let me share another example of kindness that had a profound impact on my life. When I was a young man, I approached your great-grandfather Gene, your grandmother Cookie’s father, to ask for his daughter’s hand in marriage. His response was a masterclass in kindness and trust. He said, “Of course. Thank you. I know that with you I will never have to worry about my daughter.”
Those words weren’t just kind; they were transformative. In that moment, your great-grandfather Gene not only welcomed me into his family but also set a high standard for me to live up to. His kindness and faith in me became a driving force in my life, motivating me to always strive to be the man he believed I could be. That’s the power of kindness – it doesn’t just make people feel good; it can shape their actions and their character for years to come.
As I sit down to rewrite this essay—unsatisfied with my previous attempts—it’s February 2025, and I’m in Madrid with Cookie. Today was laundry day, which sounds simple enough, but it turned into an unexpected lesson in kindness and connection.
At the laundromat, I loaded our clothes into the washer, only to discover there was no detergent in the kiosk. So, I set off for the store, hoping to grab some, but returned empty-handed. To my surprise, my washing machine was already running.
It turned out that an elderly man who had arrived before me mistakenly entered the wrong machine number when paying, unknowingly starting my washer instead of his. He was out $8.50 and didn’t have any more money. In my broken Spanish, I reassured him not to worry—I would pause my washer, find detergent elsewhere, and restart it when I got back. Then, I handed him $8.50 so he could start his own cycle.
By the time I returned (still without detergent), he kindly offered me some of his. But too much time had passed, and my machine wouldn’t restart. So, I had to pay another $8.50. He looked embarrassed, but I was just happy to help. It was an honest mistake.
As we sat together, quietly reading our books, the laundromat manager arrived. The old man had called him to explain the situation and insisted he come down to reimburse me. I was touched—not just by his honesty, but by the unexpected bond we’d formed. That day, I made two new friends: a kindhearted old man and a laundromat manager with whom I discovered we had a few things in common.
And it made me wonder—what if I had just told the old man he was out of luck? What if I had refused to help? The day could have unfolded so differently. But instead, a small act of generosity turned a mundane chore into something meaningful.
Now, let me tell you about the exponential benefits of kindness, and there’s no better example than your grandmother Cookie. She is kindness personified, and her actions demonstrate how a single person’s kindness can have an immense impact on the world.
As I write this, your grandmother Cookie is feeding 500 underprivileged children, five days a week. Let that sink in for a moment. That’s 2,500 meals a week, 10,000 meals a month! Through her time, effort, and financial support, she’s ensuring that 500 children don’t go hungry. But it’s more than just food – it’s hope, it’s care, it’s a message to these children that they matter.
Think about the ripple effect of this kindness. These 500 children are better nourished, which means they can focus better in school. They feel cared for, which boosts their self-esteem. Their parents have one less worry, which might allow them to be more present for their children or to focus on improving their own situations. The teachers of these children might find their jobs a little easier because their students are more attentive. And all of these people, touched by your grandmother’s kindness, are more likely to pass that kindness on to others.
This is the exponential power of kindness. One act can set off a chain reaction that affects hundreds, thousands, or even millions of lives. Your grandmother’s kindness is feeding children today, but it’s also nurturing a kinder, more compassionate generation for tomorrow.
And here’s something crucial to understand: your grandmother Cookie didn’t start out feeding 10,000 meals a month. She started with one act of kindness, then another, and another. Over time, those acts grew and multiplied, leading to the incredible impact she’s having today.
This is why it’s so important to practice kindness every day, in ways both big and small. You never know which act of kindness might be the one that changes someone’s life, or sets in motion a chain of events that changes the world.
Kindness is a choice we make every day, in every interaction. It’s not always easy, but as your grandmother Cookie shows us, it’s always worth it. So I challenge you, my dear grandchildren, to make that choice. Choose kindness, today and every day. Let it be your legacy, just as it is Pop Gentile’s, just as it is your grandmother Cookie’s, and just as I hope it will be mine.
Start small if you need to – a kind word, a helping hand, a moment of patience. But start. And keep going. Let your kindness grow and multiply. Let it shape your character and your impact on the world. Because in the end, it’s not our achievements or possessions that matter most – it’s the kindness we’ve shown, the lives we’ve touched, and the love we’ve shared.
Pop