Writing about this topic is tricky for me. It’s a concept that’s easy to understand but hard to pin down.
Motivation and happiness are often mistaken for each other, but they serve very different purposes. Happiness is fleeting, an emotion that comes and goes, while motivation—true Motivation with a capital “M”—is the force that keeps us moving forward even when we don’t feel particularly happy, nor particularly “m”otivated.
There are two levels of motivation. The first is the deep, intrinsic, capital “M” Motivation—the kind that fuels our long-term ambitions and defines our purpose. It’s what drives us to start businesses, get degrees, chase dreams, and dedicate ourselves to meaningful work. It’s the force behind the big picture, the reason we commit to something despite the obstacles.
And then there’s the second kind—the small “m” motivation. This is the motivation required to get out of bed, go to the office, check emails, and handle the mundane responsibilities of daily life. It’s the push we need to get through routine tasks, even when they don’t feel inspiring. This is the motivation I’ve struggled with the most. And I’m in good company.  It’s normal.
For a long time, I thought that struggling with daily motivation meant something was wrong. I wondered if I had lost my passion, if I was in the wrong job, or if I lacked the drive that successful people seem to have. But then I realized something important: life isn’t about feeling happy every single moment.

Happiness is like a vacation. If you were on vacation every day, it would stop feeling special. The joy of stepping away from routine only exists because routine exists in the first place. In the same way, expecting to feel constantly happy about work, responsibilities, or even your passions is unrealistic. The presence of struggle, boredom, or low-energy days doesn’t mean you’re unmotivated—it just means you’re human.
When we confuse motivation with happiness, we start thinking that any lack of excitement means something is wrong. We tell ourselves that if we were truly passionate, we’d never feel unmotivated. But that’s not how it works. Even people who love what they do experience burnout, frustration, and days when they just don’t feel like it. Instead of seeing those moments as a sign of failure, we should recognize them as part of the process. Just because you don’t feel like doing something doesn’t mean you’ve lost your motivation. Discipline, not just motivation, is what keeps us moving forward. It’s the ability to keep going even when the excitement isn’t there, knowing that not every step of the journey will feel inspiring—but every step matters.

At the end of the day, motivation isn’t about feeling good all the time. It’s about commitment to something bigger than how you feel in any given moment. The people who achieve great things aren’t the ones who feel motivated every day; they’re the ones who keep going even when they don’t. So maybe the struggle isn’t about motivation at all. Maybe it’s about accepting that motivation and happiness are not the same. Maybe it’s about recognizing that feeling uninspired in the short term doesn’t mean you’ve lost sight of your long-term vision. Maybe it’s about learning to show up, even when you don’t feel like it—because that’s what truly makes a difference.
For me, “M”otivation has always been a constant companion, driving me forward through life’s challenges. I haven’t experienced a lack of “M”otivation so that’s why it’s tough to write about. How can I impart wisdom on something I haven’t struggled with? And imparting wisdom should you wish to accept it is the sole purpose of writing to you.

My story begins with a challenging childhood. My parents divorced when I was a toddler, and we faced financial struggles. Despite these hardships, my father’s side of the family was incredibly supportive. They showed me what love and stability could look like, and I was determined to provide that for my own children.

My motivation stemmed from a fear of repeating the past. I didn’t want my kids to grow up in the same environment I did. This fear ignited a fierce determination within me—a moral duty to change the circumstances for the next generation.

I dreamed of giving my children a warm home with loving parents, of finding a partner who was everything I admired: loving, loyal, smart, and an incredible mother and wife. I aspired to be financially secure so my family would never want for anything and to offer my kids unlimited opportunities.

These dreams became my guiding star, influencing every decision I made. Attending the University of Alabama was part of that vision, where I met your Grandmother, the love of my life. My college routine was intense—balancing football practice, rigorous studying, and library dates with Karen. Some might call it “geekdom,” but I was laser-focused on my goals.

After college, I juggled a corporate career with night classes to earn my MBA while friends socialized after work. Karen and I moved eight times in 12 years, making numerous sacrifices along the way. My motivation never wavered.

Eventually, I left the corporate world to start my own business, which I ran for 17 years before retiring at 57. This allowed me to pursue passions like spending time with your parents, with you, feeding underprivileged kids, mentoring others, and writing for you.

Throughout this journey, I’ve come to understand the crucial role of grit—a quality defined by perseverance and passion for long-term goals. Grit is what keeps you going when motivation wanes, when obstacles seem insurmountable, and when others might give up. It’s the secret ingredient that often separates success from failure.

I consider myself gritty, and I believe this quality has been just as important as my motivation in achieving my goals. Grit often trumps talent alone; it’s why some of the smartest kids in high school struggle in college without it. It’s about showing up every day, putting in the work, and staying committed to your goals even when progress seems slow or setbacks occur.

Motivation is deeply personal and can come from many sources—it’s not always born from negative experiences. I’ve known people who grew up in positive environments who were just as driven. What matters is finding what truly motivates you and coupling it with grit.

If you’re struggling to identify your own north star motivation, consider taking some time for self-reflection. Think about the moments when you felt truly alive or excited—what were you doing? What values were you honoring? Journaling can be an effective way to explore these thoughts; write down what brings you joy or what issues resonate deeply with you. You might also find it helpful to talk with trusted friends or mentors about what they see as your strengths and passions. Sometimes others can recognize our motivations more clearly than we can ourselves.

Unmotivated people often give up too soon when things get tough. Since anything worth doing is hard, they rarely accomplish significant goals and drift through life aimlessly. This is where grit becomes crucial—it’s the force that keeps you moving forward even when motivation falters.

So how do you find your motivation if it’s not immediately clear? It’s not just about past experiences or fears—it’s a mix of passion and dreams. When you discover your passion, motivation flows naturally. And when you couple that motivation with grit, you become unstoppable.

Your motivations will likely differ from mine, and that’s okay. Embrace them and draw upon them when needed. Don’t be discouraged by occasional lack of motivation—it’s normal. On those days, let your grit carry you through. Take small steps forward anyway.

Remember Zig Ziglar’s words: “People often say that motivation doesn’t last. Well, neither does bathing—that’s why we recommend it daily.” If you find yourself frequently lacking motivation, dig deep to uncover it; it’s there even if you don’t see it yet. And while you’re digging for motivation, cultivate your grit. It will serve you well in all aspects of life.

The greatest source of motivation lies within you. Nurture it, challenge it, and let it guide you toward your dreams. Couple it with grit, and you’ll be amazed at what you can achieve. Your potential is limitless—I can’t wait to see where your motivation and grit take you.