“Show me your friends, and I’ll show you your future.”
That’s not just a catchy phrase — it’s a truth that echoes through every meaningful life.

The people you surround yourself with — and how you spend your time — shape your values, influence your thinking, and ultimately determine the direction of your life. These are not small or casual decisions. They are the architecture of your future.

Think about Warren Buffett, one of the most successful investors in history. His longtime partner and closest friend, Charlie Munger, is a brilliant thinker and a man of great wisdom. For more than sixty years, the two of them sharpened each other’s thinking and built not just wealth, but insight. Their friendship made them both better — not by accident, but by design. Buffett chose to walk with people who made him think deeper, act wiser, and live better.

Let me tell you about someone I know who’s living this truth from the inside out.

He’s a young man — a close friend to me and to Cookie — who lives in Lisbon. He’s in his early 20s, and he’s one of the most thoughtful, insightful people I’ve ever met. If he chooses to lead a country or a company one day, I won’t be surprised. In addition to being his friend, I’ve had the privilege of mentoring him. Just recently, we were talking about leadership challenges he’s facing at work. But his greatest strength isn’t in how he navigates business — it’s how he’s overcome extraordinary hardship.

He grew up in Cape Verde under heartbreaking conditions — no love, no safety, no real friendships. His home was shaped by addiction, absence, and emotional pain. He spent much of his life alone. I cannot fully describe how hard his childhood was. And yet, somehow, he continues to rise with courage and grace.

After sharing this very essay with him (before I added this part, of course), he sent me a response so honest and moving that I want you to hear his voice in his own words.

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“Sometimes life surprises us with how deeply everything is connected — and how nothing happens without a reason.

Just two days ago, before my day off, I was talking with a coworker about this very idea. I shared a saying often used by the elders in my country:
‘Diga-me com quem tu andas, que eu digo quem tu és.’
It means, ‘Tell me who you walk with, and I’ll tell you who you are.’

That’s exactly what your essay reminded me of — only with deeper insight.

There was a time in my life, especially during my teenage years, when I was emotionally dependent on having a lot of friends. I was a wounded, needy boy who had grown up feeling unloved and alone. I tried so hard to be helpful — doing people’s homework, sharing what little I had (and even what I didn’t), afraid of being left out. I just didn’t want to feel alone again.

But I was constantly disappointed. Most of those ‘friends’ weren’t loyal. They didn’t understand what friendship really meant. They were only there for what they could take.

Eventually, I got tired of the same story repeating. I decided to face the truth and focus on myself. And I found something unexpected: peace. Stillness. Relief.

Even now, I don’t have a big group of friends. Sometimes loneliness still sneaks in. Sometimes I feel guilty — like I’m doing something wrong. But no one knows my story better than I do. No one understands what’s inside me like I do.

Today, I want to be my own best friend. I know what respect looks like. I know what loyalty feels like. I know what kind of behavior deserves my energy. I’m no longer a desperate teenager longing for attention. Life has shaped me into a man — one who’s strong enough to fight for what he believes in, no matter the circumstance.

That’s why the choice of who you walk with is one of life’s most serious decisions.

It’s hard to find a true friend. And strangely, once you cross the finish line, you’ll see people who suddenly appear, claiming they were always cheering for you. It’s funny how invisible they were during the journey.

That’s why I’m so grateful that God placed you and Mrs. Karen in my life. That friendship is a rare diamond in my hands — it feels like a hug straight to my soul.
Thank you for your wisdom. I’m grateful now, and I always will be.”

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His words speak for themselves.

But here’s what I want you to take seriously: who you spend time with — and who you choose to align yourself with — will shape the trajectory of your life. That includes your friends, your mentors, your colleagues, your boss, your team, even the people you hire someday.

Take a hard look around you. Who are you walking with? Who are you learning from? Who are you becoming more like?

If the people in your life challenge you to grow, build your confidence, speak truth, and carry themselves with integrity — hold onto them. That’s rare, and it’s worth everything. But if you’re surrounded by people who gossip, undercut, coast, or complain — understand that over time, you will absorb that culture. And it will shrink you.

This applies to your personal relationships and to the kind of place you choose to work. If you find yourself in a company or on a team where the people are dishonest, arrogant, lazy, or unethical — don’t stay. Culture is contagious. Either it will lift you up or slowly wear you down. Go where people are growing. Go where excellence is expected. Go where character still matters. And if you ever build your own company, hire the kinds of people who make others better.

You don’t need perfect people. But you do need to choose carefully. The future version of you will reflect the people and environments you’re choosing now — whether you realize it or not.

So pause. Take inventory. Who are you walking with? Who are you working with? Who are you becoming?

Now choose — clearly and deliberately — the people and places that will shape you into who you were meant to be.